Wednesday, October 3, 2007

New pictures!

This is the latest from Kimkins, showing what seems, at first glance to be a genuine pair of before and after photos. The alleged story is below.

"Hello, my name is Lulu, and I want to thank Kimkins so much! Because of your incredible diet plan, my life has completely turned around! I was spending too much time comfort eating, due to all the stress of ruling a barbarous planet, and my weight had skyrocketed! I started only a terrestrial year ago, spending many weeks on VLCD (eating only one mortal enemy a day) before slowly introducing carbs back into my daily intake. Your diet is fantastic! In only 12 weeks, I lost over 500 pounds, and could see my tail again! I found my skin tone improving too: the wrinkles gradually vanishing, and the putrid jaundiced color slowly turning a healthy pink. Six months into the diet, my hair grew back and, to my surprise, so did my legs! Finally, after a month of fasting on egg whites my tail fell off, immediately bringing my weight under 200 pounds! I was overjoyed at how well your fantastic diet was working! Even my own mother no longer recognized me! I could now wear clothes from regular shops instead of having to take over whole textile industries! I really cannot express my thanks to Kimkins too much! Her diet showed a new "me" that I never knew I had! I am more than a new person, I am new species! Nowadays I live in a quiet suburb of Moscow, where I am not well known, selling talkative robots on eBay."


I have my doubts about the veracity of this, but it seems no more implausible than many of the other success stories I have seen.

Q.

2 comments:

Princess Dieter aka Mir said...

You are killing me!!!!!!!!!!

A person is not supposed to laugh THIS MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Princess, cackling here

Anonymous said...

Or, in Kimnmer's case, SWITCH the photos - that Before looks more like her AFTER!!!